Fine, that's not the real event title. Sum Yum doesn't have time for clever headlines and glossy flyers. But that's certainly how most denizens feel after a plate of Kung Pao chicken and 72 ounces of swipe.

A folktale from India says that a pelican killed her young by rough treatment but was then so contrite that she resurrected them with her own blood. You're probably feeling similarly contrite, spending your afternoons on Ocean getting blasted. Fuckin' lush.

Nobody's here except the four drunken whores who missed their flight back to Charlotte last night. But the beer is cheap and the week is young.